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[Bingqiu] Shizun, can't we all go together? 02
by coku
"......" Huh?
This time it was Shen Qingqiu's turn to choke off his words.
At first he thought it was a joke, and stared at Bing-ge's smiling face in hopes of seeing some sort of clue hidden in it.
But there was nothing, that face was too calm, that gaze too fervent, lacking the slightest hint that it might be a joke; if he were any calmer, Shen Qingqiu would be thoroughly horrified, goosebumps covering him from head to toe.
No way, it couldn't be, Bing-ge's seriously gone crazy - he wants to stay here a few days, and with the person he hates the most!? He's gotta be sick in the head!
Having long had enough of Bing-ge's repeated flirting with his darling shizun, Luo Binghe's expression contorted, his rationality snapping like that final broken straw. He murderously threw out a vicious strike towards Bing-ge—
"Bastard! Don't think you can get your hands on Shizun that easily!"
The brutal burst of demonic energy pounced upon its target like a galloping unfettered beast. But the one from the original work wasn't easy to deal with either - or perhaps because they were the same person to begin with, with thought processes not much different from each other - Bing-ge reacted extremely quickly, throwing out an identical counterattack at the same time he saw his opponent move.
In a flash, equal levels of demonic energy exploded against each other in the air, creating a humongous and powerful burst of wind pressure, blowing at the three men's ink-black hair and causing the hems of their clothes to flutter frantically in the air.
Bing-ge gave him a distrustful smile: "The one calling people bastards is the real bastard here - you've already forgotten what Shizun said just moments ago, how thoughtless of you."
Refusing to be outdone, Luo Binghe continued throwing out burst after burst, fuming with rage.
"You're the thoughtless one," he said, the red light in his eyes burning like raging flames.
The two took turns exchanging a few more blows, not a place they went safe from getting blasted full of uneven craters, plants flying sideways, dust rising to the sky, the tranquil beauty of the once-enchanting scenery becoming a ghastly battlefield in the blink of an eye.
Shen Qingqiu stood at the outer edge of the windstorm, watching as the situation began to slide out of control, and not having the time to think about his crumbling composure, promptly moved his hand to form the sword sigils to summon Xiuya, rushing as fast as he possibly could directly into the center of the disturbance.
It should be said that demons are truly worthy of being called a race with especially powerful destructive force, even a simple fight capable of rising to the level of a natural disaster; Shen Qingqiu had never been so glad as he was now that they weren't currently on Cangqiong Mountain, or else his Qingjing Peak would probably have been shaved bare by the two brats.
Observing an open gap between the two, Shen Qingqiu pursed his lips and thrust his sword right in.
"Stop this at once—!"
Using what was practically a roar, coupled with a vicious sword strike that sliced open the air, a separate powerful tornado was evoked in the center of the storm.
Having not anticipated Shen Qingqiu to rush suicidally into the fray to obstruct them, both men's pupils contracted in surprise, putting a forceful stop to their revolving demonic energy in an unplanned simultaneous motion, their hands freezing barely a finger's-width away from his longsword.
"Shizun, please move out of the way, what about that bastard makes him worthy of your protection? Don't tell me...he's really that important?" Luo Binghe's eyes were filled with grief and resentment as he voiced his protest to Shen Qingqiu, who was wedged between them. His appearance was much like that of a young maiden who'd just been betrayed by her love, tears swirling endlessly in his sockets - it seems he'd drunk a particularly large jar of vinegar.
Compared to the endless weeping and flights of fancy from this side, Bing-ge's attitude was more like that of a laid-back dandy out for a leisurely romp through the mortal realm...in fact that's exactly what he was, playing innocent with a totally harmless smile plastered on his face.
"You saw it yourself, Shizun, he's the one who started this fight; if you're going to scold anyone your target's definitely not me." He shrugged his shoulders as he spoke.
Shen Qingqiu had an unexplainable sense of powerlessness, looking at this side, then at that side, feeling strongly how damn uncomfortable it was to have to be the center of a sandwich cookie. All he'd wanted was to resolve things peacefully, how'd it suddenly turn into a situation like he was a guy with two lovers who'd just been caught cheating, it was annoying as hell!
"Be a good boy Binghe, you're overthinking it." He expressionlessly lifted his free hand to give the jealous one a pat, then turned with a sigh towards the smiling one: "You, what are you thinking?"
This question could be considered quite an interesting one. He didn't ask "why are you doing this" but "what are you thinking" - aside from the surface-level meaning of wanting to know what Bing-ge was planning, this was simultaneously asking what exactly the man thought of him, and how he could stand to see the man he so detested wandering leisurely before his eyes.
—Especially considering that man was one he hated to the bone.
The character of Shen Qingqiu, in the original work, was undoubtedly the hundred-percent set-in-stone officially reviled number one scum villain; even if the transmigrated him now knew this person's past grievances and misfortunes, it could never entirely wipe away all the mental and physical harm which Shen Jiu had done to Bing-ge.
Having thought this far, Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but remember a moment not long before he'd transmigrated, an ancient memory of little baozi Luo Binghe suffering bullying and abuse from the original goods. He suddenly felt a sense of desolation; if Bing-ge's original goods had been willing to treat the little Luo Binghe kindly from the start, maybe that spiritual blackening would never have happened, and it wouldn't have reached the point of the disciple ripping his teacher apart—even if this likely meant he never in his past life would have picked up this book.
If the great Airplane had originally shown the protagonist a little bit of a conscience.
Thinking more closely on it, the Luo Binghe who was once trampled and humiliated by others, whose spirit was twisted by despair into the vengeful prince here today - even if he single-handedly ruled over the three realms and had a harem numbering in the triple digits, Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but feel an unexplainable sense of pity as he looked at him at this moment.
Maybe because he'd been influenced by the Luo Binghe he'd raised, or maybe because he'd always been overly sympathetic but had never paid too close attention before as a reader, but after coming here and coming into contact with all sorts of people, places, and things, he was no longer able to see this world as just a book, which is how such a preposterous idea managed to manifest.
When the original work's Luo Binghe heard Shen Qingqiu's question, the smile on his face faded, the emotion in his eyes a pit too deep to see the bottom.
"What does Shizun want to do with this question, are you afraid I might do something to you?"
"..." Shen Qingqiu dared only to swear in his mind: "Think about what happened to the original goods, why wouldn't he be worried!"
Luo Binghe smiled again.
"Don't worry, I won't do anything and don't plan to; I just want to reminisce about the old days a little, experience that teacher-student harmony, is all."
As he got to the end of that sentence a hard-to-catch look of loneliness seemed to flash across his handsome face.
Shen Qingqiu spoke up with a bit of difficulty: "I'm not the same as him."
Luo Binghe sneered, "I know that, but you're also Shen Qingqiu." A thread of madness passed through his eyes.
Shen Qingqiu was having trouble speaking, unsure what sort of explanation to give. Just like when facing Yue Qingyuan, he was unable to honestly say that he wasn't Shen Jiu at all, and could only maintain his silence.
Maiden Luo had been standing to the side all this time, full of complaints as he listened to every word of their conversation, and was undeniably upset. In his eyes, this interaction between Shen Qingqiu and Bing-ge was no different from them making eyes at each other, causing quite a strong impact to the true protagonist here. Jealousy bubbled up inside him, tears watering the field of his heart.
"Shizun..." He sorrowfully pressed closer to Shen Qingqiu, a step away from throwing his entire body over him and declaring sovereignty, "Why do I get the feeling you understand him especially well?"
He hadn't been concerned at first - Shen Qingqiu was a great scholar after all, so figuring out the ins and outs of a person after a few short meetings wasn't a difficult task for him - but Shen Qingqiu had a fluid response for every one of the other him's conditions, leading Luo Binghe to feel increasingly uncertain over this strange development.
Shen Qingqiu's heart suddenly thumped loudly, and he barely resisted the urge to throw out Xiuya.
Fuck, Bing-mei please I'm begging you not to get so observant now of all times...
This was seriously much too complicated to explain in just a few words!
"...You're overthinking it, this is just conjecture, conjecture." Shen Qingqiu let out a couple awkward laughs, deliberately gave Luo Binghe what he personally assumed to be a calm and collected smile, and pet his head while he was at it, in an attempt to skip over this topic.
However, a certain someone apparently thought he didn't have enough to worry about, and cheerfully jumped in to join the fun.
"Oh, really? But what if I think Shizun understands me quite well, myself?" Bing-ge's smile slowly expanded.
Shen Qingqiu pushed away Bing-ge's approaching face with a forced air of calm as he prudently denied: "It's just your imagination!" Could you not make things worse than they are here!
Bing-mei's eyes were already pools of tears, ready to cry at the drop of a hat as he said: "Shizun, do you dislike me, is that why you've shifted your affections to this damn beast instead..."
"......"
Bing-ge was still adding fuel to the fire: "Don't be shy, Shizun, if you like me then go ahead and say it, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"......"
Aaah—I've had enough of this!
******
A few hours passed, the farcical squabbling and arguing continued, and after Shen Qingqiu went through great pains to facilitate communication between them, the two ceaselessly troublesome brats finally managed to come to a peaceful agreement shortly before nightfall.
◎Do not kill, injure, treat lewdly, abuse, or otherwise endanger others.
◎Do not willfully meddle in this world's affairs.
◎Do not cross boundaries, violate, or take liberties with Shen Qingqiu. ※the farther away you go, the better
This was the three-point contract between master and student, the conditions agreed upon for Bing-ge to be able to stay in this world for a few days. The first two were proposed by Shen Qingqiu, whereas the last was demanded by vinegar-barrel Bing-mei, who wished more than anything to dismember his (self-determined) love rival into a thousand pieces. While Bing-ge pleasantly gave lip-service to the third line of the contract, he secretly crossed his fingers behind his back.
Now that they'd finished fighting, and had pretty much used up all their energy, it was about the right time to have dinner.
Shen Qingqiu shot a glance behind him at the little bamboo house he'd been living in the past few days. What had been a cozy little house not long ago, after two violent baptisms, was already in a half-collapsed and absolutely tragic-looking state, the damaged bamboo door creaking out a lament as it swayed in the wind, struggling on its last legs, on the verge of collapsing entirely.
Seeing as there was no way they could cook a meal in the house anymore, Shen Qingqiu made the firm decision for them to all go to the nearby town to eat. With a Luo Binghe hanging off each arm, their little group gave off the impression of a kindergarten teacher taking the kids on an outing, as they rode their swords to the restaurant to eat.
As soon as they arrived in town, Shen Qingqiu et al. became the indisputable center of attention due to their striking good looks; not a single passerby didn't stop for a few curious looks, some young woman even turning bright red, their affections noticeably captured.
Shen Qingqiu very calmly ignored those glances cast his way - or to be more precise he wasn't in the mood to be bothered by them; just thinking about how to get this pair of sticky candies named Luo Binghe off his back was already using up enough of his brainpower as it was.
The owner of the restaurant saw that the newcomers had an imposing and impressive appearance, with bearings that were certainly above the common folk - most importantly, you could tell from a glance at their clothes that they must be rich! - and immediately put on a sparkling bright smile, listening to Shen Qingqiu's requirements and cheerfully leading the group to a private room on the second floor.
Luo Binghe had looked unhappy the entire way here, occasionally exchanging glances with the original in a silent, unspoken battle; once the waiter set down the last dish and left the room, seeing that no-one else would be interrupting—save for Bing-ge, he began once again to stick onto Shen Qingqiu, gloomily looking at all the delicious foods on the table and assessing aloud: "Shizun, if this little bastard hadn't run in and caused a mess, anything this disciple made could have outshone those people."
His tone of voice clearly showed his bad mood; Shen Qingqiu helplessly patted his disciple's head in a placating manner, then passed the rice bowls on the table to either side.
"Just eat your dinner for now, if there's any problems we can talk about it afterwards."
The two identical disciples stared silently at the white rice in their hands, pondering for a long while.
Suddenly, Bing-ge's mouth curled up into a cheerful arc, all smiles as he picked up his chopsticks, rapidly picked up a piece of crispy deep-fried sweet-and-sour pork, and lifted it to Shen Qingqiu's mouth, saying in a soft voice: "Here, Shizun, say ah~ Eat this piece right up."
The one being fed immediately widened his eyes; before he even realized what was happening, he'd already acted on reflex and taken a bite out of the meat by his mouth—
—Oh, dammit.
He'd been living his days too peacefully, and did occasionally mess around (flirt) a little with Luo Binghe at meals; as time went on his danger senses had lowered, and now he'd acted without even thinking.
He furtively cast a glance to Maiden Luo.
Bing-mei looked as if he'd just been struck by a bolt out of the blue, the old vinegar barrel spilling out all over the place as he copied Bing-ge's actions, picking a chopstickful of another dish and shoving it in front of Shen Qingqiu.
"Shizun! Eat mine too!" He was on the verge of tears, like a dog that had been callously abandoned by its master, both grieved and uneasy.
"......"
Shen Qingqiu didn't speak, honestly unable to bear seeing his disciple's pitiful appearance; in the end he couldn't help playing favorites. Since he'd eaten Bing-ge's, then naturally there was no reason not to eat his own disciple's.
He tugged at his dignity as he took the proffered meat dumpling into his mouth. Luo Binghe's eyes had just begun to shine with happiness at this, when he saw Bing-ge bring over a bite of yet another dish.
"Shizun, have a bite of this as well; it will get rid of the grease, and it tastes good too." He brought the dish closer as he spoke.
...Has he gotten addicted to feeding me or something?
"Um, I..."
"Shizun should try mine instead, cold vegetables are much better for removing grease."
Luo Binghe abruptly interrupted Shen Qingqiu, showing an amiable look on his face as he held up another new dish, though behind him was an aura so black it was practically visible.
......
Let me say, could you guys stop using me to compete with each other? It's just one meal, eat properly!
I'm pretty much begging you here!
"This teacher...will feed himself." Shen Qingqiu's expression was calm and cool, but his heart of hearts had him quietly shift himself slowly backwards from this perilous situation, clearly showing his desire to keep away from the two pairs of chopsticks before him.
He really didn't want to experience this fight scene of the kind that only showed up in those trendy dramas young girls like to watch. First off, he wasn't a girl, neither did he have the peculiar urge to be chased after, that particular role not suiting him no matter how he thought about it; secondly, he was seriously worried about his personal safety. Do you know who the two men in front of him are? Luo Binghe! They're both protagonists with peculiar ways of thinking! It doesn't matter which one you make unhappy, the one doomed in the end will always be yourself. And since he'd already predicted the result, he was obviously going to choose to put his own safety first - only an idiot would make things more difficult for himself!
Seeing that Shen-shizun was intentionally evading their attempts to fawn on him, the smiles on the two hardworking demon lords' faces both immediately froze. After exchanging a dagger-filled glare with each other, they both simultaneously placed their offerings into Shen Qingqiu's plate faster than he could blink.
Shen Qingqiu's expression darkened.
WTF, are you trying to make this a compulsory fight!
"Shizun, how long have we been together now? There's no need to be polite with this disciple, I'm not that little bastard harboring evil intentions over there; just tell me whatever you want to eat, and I'll get it for you."
Not to be outdone, Bing-ge spoke out in reply: "So I'm harboring evil intentions, am I? Heh, and may I ask if you're any better?" He rested his chin on a hand, red eyes turning to fix their gaze on Shen Qingqiu as he continued: "Shizun, you should really consider being happy together with me, what's so good about a crybaby like him? Barely a few words and he'll start sobbing and asking for a hug to cheer him up - as a fellow 'Luo Binghe' I'm ashamed."
He'd just finished speaking when the square, wooden table let out a sharp cracking sound. You didn't need to look down to know that the table had most definitely split a seam.
Luo Binghe obviously paid no heed to the fact he'd just been called a crybaby; his entire heart and soul were focused on another more important point. Black eyes suddenly turned red, his fair and handsome face looking as vengeful as a raksha.
"You're trying to take advantage of Shizun, you son of a bitch!" He said angrily.
Bing-ge let out a laugh full of provocation.
"Well who made you so useless, you can't blame me."
"Did you forget the earlier agreement not to cross boundaries, violate, or take liberties with Shizun!? Are you planning to break the contract?"
Bing-ge continued to smile, saying: "Which of your crybaby eyes saw me actually doing anything, do you not understand that 'wanting' isn't the same as doing?"
Suddenly not a sound could be heard in the room, so quiet that you could vaguely hear the clamor of the market outside.
Bing-ge was truly worthy of being the number one protag from the haremverse, with the most wives and the fiercest fans, more thick-skinned than a city wall, a hoodlum to the end, leading people to prostrate themselves in admiration, humbly conceding defeat.
Bing-mei was practically bursting with rage, his hands pressed to the table bubbling out threads of dark energy, his eyes so red they seemed capable of dripping blood.
Shen Qingqiu - stuck awkwardly between the two this whole time - kept his mouth shut, still holding the bowl of rice with added morsels in it, unsure whether or not to move his chopsticks.
Unable to eat a single peaceful meal, Shen Qingqiu sorrowfully wondered to himself how they'd manage the next few days? He was a little afraid to think any farther down that path, and with his worry keeping him from tasting the delicious food before him, he gave up on eating entirely.
Mostly because he couldn't stand such a desolate atmosphere, he inwardly sighed and decided to break the silence, dignified and elegant as he slowly put down the bowl and chopsticks, then pulled a folding fan out from his qiankun sleeve.
And then.
"Luo Binghe."
The two both turned to look at him.
Just as they were about to ask what Shen Qingqiu might want, a shadow seemed to pass before their eyes, the folding fan catching them off-guard as it smacked them each on the forehead—
"I forbid you from fighting."
Shen Qingqiu's cold admonishment smacked away the murderous intent twisting around Luo Binghe's hands, as well as the mischievous smile on the original's face.
"You're also forbidden from arguing."
The two who'd been hit both simultaneously put their hands to their foreheads, one looking wronged and the other looking sullen, both full of disbelief.
A resentful Luo Binghe was the first to speak up: "Shizun! You heard what he said, why are you still siding with him!"
Shen Qingqiu felt unjustly accused. All he wanted was for them to get along peacefully, eat a nice quiet meal - how was that siding with Bing-ge? But it wasn't as if he couldn't understand why Luo Binghe was unhappy; if anyone else learned that someone had errant intentions against their lover, unless that person had great faith in their bond together, it was unavoidable that they'd be worried and uneasy.
Shen Qingqiu hid his face behind his open fan, sighed for the umpteenth time this day, and cried out his grievance: "This teacher is not siding with anyone." He then furrowed his brows at Bing-ge, his expression looking somewhat reproachful.
"Stop making trouble."
Although he had no way of discerning how much truth there was to the words this dangerous man spat out, Shen Qingqiu could at least clearly recognize the part of it that was deliberately teasing Maiden Luo. If he were to make a comparison, it was basically like watching a pair of childish brothers having an argument, the elder brother deliberately weaving circles to make his little brother bristle with anger, while the little brother obliviously stepped right into every trap to the elder's amusement.
"I wasn't making trouble, he provoked me first." Bing-ge's voice was soft, feigning grievance as he fluttered those bright eyes of his at Shen Qingqiu.
...Right, of course, then may I ask you who was the first to start misbehaving at the dinner table! Shen Qingqiu didn't have the slightest bit of faith in his nonsense. Meanwhile the man's shameless words had apparently angered Maiden Luo so much he was smiling, his every word forced through clenched teeth, so forceful it seemed he wanted to bite each word into pieces.
He let out a nasty laugh: "You're lying through your teeth. You were the first to start it weren't you, and yet you're trying to push it on me? Heh, are you that sick of living?"
Bing-ge didn't answer him, instead deepening the smiling expression on his face, narrowed eyes brimming with ice-cold killing intent.
Seeing the two ready to start fighting again, Shen Qingqiu hurriedly made a gesture for them to stop, yelling loudly: "That's enough! No more provoking each other! Stop it this instant!"
""But Shizun—""
"Eat, your, dinner!"
Shen Qingqiu forcefully broke off both men's protests. He quickly swept his gaze over the food on the table, seeming to come to some sort of decision, then picked up the serving chopsticks and divided each dish in equal portions between the three of them—
"Now everyone has their share, we're each eating our own."
The implication here was, I've got food already, so what are you still kicking up a fuss for, just sit down and eat!
Luo Binghe was unwilling to resign, when he saw the original one's eyes suddenly light up, energetically sticking onto Shen Qingqiu and refusing to move away; the more he watched, the more angry he became. But Shizun had already forbidden them from quarreling, and he didn't want Shizun to be disappointed in him, so there was nothing for him to do but swallow that flaming ball of anger, hatefully shoving food in his mouth as he guardedly watched Bing-ge's every movement.
Bing-ge flashed his canines, smiling sweetly: "Shizun, you're really a good person."
Shen Qingqiu felt a cold shudder run through his heart at this sudden sweet smile, as if he'd been faced with some sort of great scourge.
You couldn't blame him for being on edge. Remember that in the original work, the more tender and soft Luo Binghe's smile was, the more savage the tortures that person would face.
He wondered in alarm if he'd offended Bing-ge somehow, because why else would the man be looking at him like this?
But he couldn't think of any answers at the moment, so he simply stopped thinking about it, deciding he might as well focus on resolving the current trouble before him. He unhurriedly opened his mouth: "I'm passable I suppose...as long as you two are happy it's fine."
He gave his own answer a satisfied ten points, for not offending anyone. He seriously felt like this praise was full of pitfalls, demanding deliberation before he could give a reply; otherwise he might accidentally give off the impression he was favoring Bing-ge, and then Maiden Luo really would go berserk.
Previous <= || => Next
"......" Huh?
This time it was Shen Qingqiu's turn to choke off his words.
At first he thought it was a joke, and stared at Bing-ge's smiling face in hopes of seeing some sort of clue hidden in it.
But there was nothing, that face was too calm, that gaze too fervent, lacking the slightest hint that it might be a joke; if he were any calmer, Shen Qingqiu would be thoroughly horrified, goosebumps covering him from head to toe.
No way, it couldn't be, Bing-ge's seriously gone crazy - he wants to stay here a few days, and with the person he hates the most!? He's gotta be sick in the head!
Having long had enough of Bing-ge's repeated flirting with his darling shizun, Luo Binghe's expression contorted, his rationality snapping like that final broken straw. He murderously threw out a vicious strike towards Bing-ge—
"Bastard! Don't think you can get your hands on Shizun that easily!"
The brutal burst of demonic energy pounced upon its target like a galloping unfettered beast. But the one from the original work wasn't easy to deal with either - or perhaps because they were the same person to begin with, with thought processes not much different from each other - Bing-ge reacted extremely quickly, throwing out an identical counterattack at the same time he saw his opponent move.
In a flash, equal levels of demonic energy exploded against each other in the air, creating a humongous and powerful burst of wind pressure, blowing at the three men's ink-black hair and causing the hems of their clothes to flutter frantically in the air.
Bing-ge gave him a distrustful smile: "The one calling people bastards is the real bastard here - you've already forgotten what Shizun said just moments ago, how thoughtless of you."
Refusing to be outdone, Luo Binghe continued throwing out burst after burst, fuming with rage.
"You're the thoughtless one," he said, the red light in his eyes burning like raging flames.
The two took turns exchanging a few more blows, not a place they went safe from getting blasted full of uneven craters, plants flying sideways, dust rising to the sky, the tranquil beauty of the once-enchanting scenery becoming a ghastly battlefield in the blink of an eye.
Shen Qingqiu stood at the outer edge of the windstorm, watching as the situation began to slide out of control, and not having the time to think about his crumbling composure, promptly moved his hand to form the sword sigils to summon Xiuya, rushing as fast as he possibly could directly into the center of the disturbance.
It should be said that demons are truly worthy of being called a race with especially powerful destructive force, even a simple fight capable of rising to the level of a natural disaster; Shen Qingqiu had never been so glad as he was now that they weren't currently on Cangqiong Mountain, or else his Qingjing Peak would probably have been shaved bare by the two brats.
Observing an open gap between the two, Shen Qingqiu pursed his lips and thrust his sword right in.
"Stop this at once—!"
Using what was practically a roar, coupled with a vicious sword strike that sliced open the air, a separate powerful tornado was evoked in the center of the storm.
Having not anticipated Shen Qingqiu to rush suicidally into the fray to obstruct them, both men's pupils contracted in surprise, putting a forceful stop to their revolving demonic energy in an unplanned simultaneous motion, their hands freezing barely a finger's-width away from his longsword.
"Shizun, please move out of the way, what about that bastard makes him worthy of your protection? Don't tell me...he's really that important?" Luo Binghe's eyes were filled with grief and resentment as he voiced his protest to Shen Qingqiu, who was wedged between them. His appearance was much like that of a young maiden who'd just been betrayed by her love, tears swirling endlessly in his sockets - it seems he'd drunk a particularly large jar of vinegar.
Compared to the endless weeping and flights of fancy from this side, Bing-ge's attitude was more like that of a laid-back dandy out for a leisurely romp through the mortal realm...in fact that's exactly what he was, playing innocent with a totally harmless smile plastered on his face.
"You saw it yourself, Shizun, he's the one who started this fight; if you're going to scold anyone your target's definitely not me." He shrugged his shoulders as he spoke.
Shen Qingqiu had an unexplainable sense of powerlessness, looking at this side, then at that side, feeling strongly how damn uncomfortable it was to have to be the center of a sandwich cookie. All he'd wanted was to resolve things peacefully, how'd it suddenly turn into a situation like he was a guy with two lovers who'd just been caught cheating, it was annoying as hell!
"Be a good boy Binghe, you're overthinking it." He expressionlessly lifted his free hand to give the jealous one a pat, then turned with a sigh towards the smiling one: "You, what are you thinking?"
This question could be considered quite an interesting one. He didn't ask "why are you doing this" but "what are you thinking" - aside from the surface-level meaning of wanting to know what Bing-ge was planning, this was simultaneously asking what exactly the man thought of him, and how he could stand to see the man he so detested wandering leisurely before his eyes.
—Especially considering that man was one he hated to the bone.
The character of Shen Qingqiu, in the original work, was undoubtedly the hundred-percent set-in-stone officially reviled number one scum villain; even if the transmigrated him now knew this person's past grievances and misfortunes, it could never entirely wipe away all the mental and physical harm which Shen Jiu had done to Bing-ge.
Having thought this far, Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but remember a moment not long before he'd transmigrated, an ancient memory of little baozi Luo Binghe suffering bullying and abuse from the original goods. He suddenly felt a sense of desolation; if Bing-ge's original goods had been willing to treat the little Luo Binghe kindly from the start, maybe that spiritual blackening would never have happened, and it wouldn't have reached the point of the disciple ripping his teacher apart—even if this likely meant he never in his past life would have picked up this book.
If the great Airplane had originally shown the protagonist a little bit of a conscience.
Thinking more closely on it, the Luo Binghe who was once trampled and humiliated by others, whose spirit was twisted by despair into the vengeful prince here today - even if he single-handedly ruled over the three realms and had a harem numbering in the triple digits, Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but feel an unexplainable sense of pity as he looked at him at this moment.
Maybe because he'd been influenced by the Luo Binghe he'd raised, or maybe because he'd always been overly sympathetic but had never paid too close attention before as a reader, but after coming here and coming into contact with all sorts of people, places, and things, he was no longer able to see this world as just a book, which is how such a preposterous idea managed to manifest.
When the original work's Luo Binghe heard Shen Qingqiu's question, the smile on his face faded, the emotion in his eyes a pit too deep to see the bottom.
"What does Shizun want to do with this question, are you afraid I might do something to you?"
"..." Shen Qingqiu dared only to swear in his mind: "Think about what happened to the original goods, why wouldn't he be worried!"
Luo Binghe smiled again.
"Don't worry, I won't do anything and don't plan to; I just want to reminisce about the old days a little, experience that teacher-student harmony, is all."
As he got to the end of that sentence a hard-to-catch look of loneliness seemed to flash across his handsome face.
Shen Qingqiu spoke up with a bit of difficulty: "I'm not the same as him."
Luo Binghe sneered, "I know that, but you're also Shen Qingqiu." A thread of madness passed through his eyes.
Shen Qingqiu was having trouble speaking, unsure what sort of explanation to give. Just like when facing Yue Qingyuan, he was unable to honestly say that he wasn't Shen Jiu at all, and could only maintain his silence.
Maiden Luo had been standing to the side all this time, full of complaints as he listened to every word of their conversation, and was undeniably upset. In his eyes, this interaction between Shen Qingqiu and Bing-ge was no different from them making eyes at each other, causing quite a strong impact to the true protagonist here. Jealousy bubbled up inside him, tears watering the field of his heart.
"Shizun..." He sorrowfully pressed closer to Shen Qingqiu, a step away from throwing his entire body over him and declaring sovereignty, "Why do I get the feeling you understand him especially well?"
He hadn't been concerned at first - Shen Qingqiu was a great scholar after all, so figuring out the ins and outs of a person after a few short meetings wasn't a difficult task for him - but Shen Qingqiu had a fluid response for every one of the other him's conditions, leading Luo Binghe to feel increasingly uncertain over this strange development.
Shen Qingqiu's heart suddenly thumped loudly, and he barely resisted the urge to throw out Xiuya.
Fuck, Bing-mei please I'm begging you not to get so observant now of all times...
This was seriously much too complicated to explain in just a few words!
"...You're overthinking it, this is just conjecture, conjecture." Shen Qingqiu let out a couple awkward laughs, deliberately gave Luo Binghe what he personally assumed to be a calm and collected smile, and pet his head while he was at it, in an attempt to skip over this topic.
However, a certain someone apparently thought he didn't have enough to worry about, and cheerfully jumped in to join the fun.
"Oh, really? But what if I think Shizun understands me quite well, myself?" Bing-ge's smile slowly expanded.
Shen Qingqiu pushed away Bing-ge's approaching face with a forced air of calm as he prudently denied: "It's just your imagination!" Could you not make things worse than they are here!
Bing-mei's eyes were already pools of tears, ready to cry at the drop of a hat as he said: "Shizun, do you dislike me, is that why you've shifted your affections to this damn beast instead..."
"......"
Bing-ge was still adding fuel to the fire: "Don't be shy, Shizun, if you like me then go ahead and say it, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"......"
Aaah—I've had enough of this!
******
A few hours passed, the farcical squabbling and arguing continued, and after Shen Qingqiu went through great pains to facilitate communication between them, the two ceaselessly troublesome brats finally managed to come to a peaceful agreement shortly before nightfall.
◎Do not kill, injure, treat lewdly, abuse, or otherwise endanger others.
◎Do not willfully meddle in this world's affairs.
◎Do not cross boundaries, violate, or take liberties with Shen Qingqiu. ※the farther away you go, the better
This was the three-point contract between master and student, the conditions agreed upon for Bing-ge to be able to stay in this world for a few days. The first two were proposed by Shen Qingqiu, whereas the last was demanded by vinegar-barrel Bing-mei, who wished more than anything to dismember his (self-determined) love rival into a thousand pieces. While Bing-ge pleasantly gave lip-service to the third line of the contract, he secretly crossed his fingers behind his back.
Now that they'd finished fighting, and had pretty much used up all their energy, it was about the right time to have dinner.
Shen Qingqiu shot a glance behind him at the little bamboo house he'd been living in the past few days. What had been a cozy little house not long ago, after two violent baptisms, was already in a half-collapsed and absolutely tragic-looking state, the damaged bamboo door creaking out a lament as it swayed in the wind, struggling on its last legs, on the verge of collapsing entirely.
Seeing as there was no way they could cook a meal in the house anymore, Shen Qingqiu made the firm decision for them to all go to the nearby town to eat. With a Luo Binghe hanging off each arm, their little group gave off the impression of a kindergarten teacher taking the kids on an outing, as they rode their swords to the restaurant to eat.
As soon as they arrived in town, Shen Qingqiu et al. became the indisputable center of attention due to their striking good looks; not a single passerby didn't stop for a few curious looks, some young woman even turning bright red, their affections noticeably captured.
Shen Qingqiu very calmly ignored those glances cast his way - or to be more precise he wasn't in the mood to be bothered by them; just thinking about how to get this pair of sticky candies named Luo Binghe off his back was already using up enough of his brainpower as it was.
The owner of the restaurant saw that the newcomers had an imposing and impressive appearance, with bearings that were certainly above the common folk - most importantly, you could tell from a glance at their clothes that they must be rich! - and immediately put on a sparkling bright smile, listening to Shen Qingqiu's requirements and cheerfully leading the group to a private room on the second floor.
Luo Binghe had looked unhappy the entire way here, occasionally exchanging glances with the original in a silent, unspoken battle; once the waiter set down the last dish and left the room, seeing that no-one else would be interrupting—save for Bing-ge, he began once again to stick onto Shen Qingqiu, gloomily looking at all the delicious foods on the table and assessing aloud: "Shizun, if this little bastard hadn't run in and caused a mess, anything this disciple made could have outshone those people."
His tone of voice clearly showed his bad mood; Shen Qingqiu helplessly patted his disciple's head in a placating manner, then passed the rice bowls on the table to either side.
"Just eat your dinner for now, if there's any problems we can talk about it afterwards."
The two identical disciples stared silently at the white rice in their hands, pondering for a long while.
Suddenly, Bing-ge's mouth curled up into a cheerful arc, all smiles as he picked up his chopsticks, rapidly picked up a piece of crispy deep-fried sweet-and-sour pork, and lifted it to Shen Qingqiu's mouth, saying in a soft voice: "Here, Shizun, say ah~ Eat this piece right up."
The one being fed immediately widened his eyes; before he even realized what was happening, he'd already acted on reflex and taken a bite out of the meat by his mouth—
—Oh, dammit.
He'd been living his days too peacefully, and did occasionally mess around (flirt) a little with Luo Binghe at meals; as time went on his danger senses had lowered, and now he'd acted without even thinking.
He furtively cast a glance to Maiden Luo.
Bing-mei looked as if he'd just been struck by a bolt out of the blue, the old vinegar barrel spilling out all over the place as he copied Bing-ge's actions, picking a chopstickful of another dish and shoving it in front of Shen Qingqiu.
"Shizun! Eat mine too!" He was on the verge of tears, like a dog that had been callously abandoned by its master, both grieved and uneasy.
"......"
Shen Qingqiu didn't speak, honestly unable to bear seeing his disciple's pitiful appearance; in the end he couldn't help playing favorites. Since he'd eaten Bing-ge's, then naturally there was no reason not to eat his own disciple's.
He tugged at his dignity as he took the proffered meat dumpling into his mouth. Luo Binghe's eyes had just begun to shine with happiness at this, when he saw Bing-ge bring over a bite of yet another dish.
"Shizun, have a bite of this as well; it will get rid of the grease, and it tastes good too." He brought the dish closer as he spoke.
...Has he gotten addicted to feeding me or something?
"Um, I..."
"Shizun should try mine instead, cold vegetables are much better for removing grease."
Luo Binghe abruptly interrupted Shen Qingqiu, showing an amiable look on his face as he held up another new dish, though behind him was an aura so black it was practically visible.
......
Let me say, could you guys stop using me to compete with each other? It's just one meal, eat properly!
I'm pretty much begging you here!
"This teacher...will feed himself." Shen Qingqiu's expression was calm and cool, but his heart of hearts had him quietly shift himself slowly backwards from this perilous situation, clearly showing his desire to keep away from the two pairs of chopsticks before him.
He really didn't want to experience this fight scene of the kind that only showed up in those trendy dramas young girls like to watch. First off, he wasn't a girl, neither did he have the peculiar urge to be chased after, that particular role not suiting him no matter how he thought about it; secondly, he was seriously worried about his personal safety. Do you know who the two men in front of him are? Luo Binghe! They're both protagonists with peculiar ways of thinking! It doesn't matter which one you make unhappy, the one doomed in the end will always be yourself. And since he'd already predicted the result, he was obviously going to choose to put his own safety first - only an idiot would make things more difficult for himself!
Seeing that Shen-shizun was intentionally evading their attempts to fawn on him, the smiles on the two hardworking demon lords' faces both immediately froze. After exchanging a dagger-filled glare with each other, they both simultaneously placed their offerings into Shen Qingqiu's plate faster than he could blink.
Shen Qingqiu's expression darkened.
WTF, are you trying to make this a compulsory fight!
"Shizun, how long have we been together now? There's no need to be polite with this disciple, I'm not that little bastard harboring evil intentions over there; just tell me whatever you want to eat, and I'll get it for you."
Not to be outdone, Bing-ge spoke out in reply: "So I'm harboring evil intentions, am I? Heh, and may I ask if you're any better?" He rested his chin on a hand, red eyes turning to fix their gaze on Shen Qingqiu as he continued: "Shizun, you should really consider being happy together with me, what's so good about a crybaby like him? Barely a few words and he'll start sobbing and asking for a hug to cheer him up - as a fellow 'Luo Binghe' I'm ashamed."
He'd just finished speaking when the square, wooden table let out a sharp cracking sound. You didn't need to look down to know that the table had most definitely split a seam.
Luo Binghe obviously paid no heed to the fact he'd just been called a crybaby; his entire heart and soul were focused on another more important point. Black eyes suddenly turned red, his fair and handsome face looking as vengeful as a raksha.
"You're trying to take advantage of Shizun, you son of a bitch!" He said angrily.
Bing-ge let out a laugh full of provocation.
"Well who made you so useless, you can't blame me."
"Did you forget the earlier agreement not to cross boundaries, violate, or take liberties with Shizun!? Are you planning to break the contract?"
Bing-ge continued to smile, saying: "Which of your crybaby eyes saw me actually doing anything, do you not understand that 'wanting' isn't the same as doing?"
Suddenly not a sound could be heard in the room, so quiet that you could vaguely hear the clamor of the market outside.
Bing-ge was truly worthy of being the number one protag from the haremverse, with the most wives and the fiercest fans, more thick-skinned than a city wall, a hoodlum to the end, leading people to prostrate themselves in admiration, humbly conceding defeat.
Bing-mei was practically bursting with rage, his hands pressed to the table bubbling out threads of dark energy, his eyes so red they seemed capable of dripping blood.
Shen Qingqiu - stuck awkwardly between the two this whole time - kept his mouth shut, still holding the bowl of rice with added morsels in it, unsure whether or not to move his chopsticks.
Unable to eat a single peaceful meal, Shen Qingqiu sorrowfully wondered to himself how they'd manage the next few days? He was a little afraid to think any farther down that path, and with his worry keeping him from tasting the delicious food before him, he gave up on eating entirely.
Mostly because he couldn't stand such a desolate atmosphere, he inwardly sighed and decided to break the silence, dignified and elegant as he slowly put down the bowl and chopsticks, then pulled a folding fan out from his qiankun sleeve.
And then.
"Luo Binghe."
The two both turned to look at him.
Just as they were about to ask what Shen Qingqiu might want, a shadow seemed to pass before their eyes, the folding fan catching them off-guard as it smacked them each on the forehead—
"I forbid you from fighting."
Shen Qingqiu's cold admonishment smacked away the murderous intent twisting around Luo Binghe's hands, as well as the mischievous smile on the original's face.
"You're also forbidden from arguing."
The two who'd been hit both simultaneously put their hands to their foreheads, one looking wronged and the other looking sullen, both full of disbelief.
A resentful Luo Binghe was the first to speak up: "Shizun! You heard what he said, why are you still siding with him!"
Shen Qingqiu felt unjustly accused. All he wanted was for them to get along peacefully, eat a nice quiet meal - how was that siding with Bing-ge? But it wasn't as if he couldn't understand why Luo Binghe was unhappy; if anyone else learned that someone had errant intentions against their lover, unless that person had great faith in their bond together, it was unavoidable that they'd be worried and uneasy.
Shen Qingqiu hid his face behind his open fan, sighed for the umpteenth time this day, and cried out his grievance: "This teacher is not siding with anyone." He then furrowed his brows at Bing-ge, his expression looking somewhat reproachful.
"Stop making trouble."
Although he had no way of discerning how much truth there was to the words this dangerous man spat out, Shen Qingqiu could at least clearly recognize the part of it that was deliberately teasing Maiden Luo. If he were to make a comparison, it was basically like watching a pair of childish brothers having an argument, the elder brother deliberately weaving circles to make his little brother bristle with anger, while the little brother obliviously stepped right into every trap to the elder's amusement.
"I wasn't making trouble, he provoked me first." Bing-ge's voice was soft, feigning grievance as he fluttered those bright eyes of his at Shen Qingqiu.
...Right, of course, then may I ask you who was the first to start misbehaving at the dinner table! Shen Qingqiu didn't have the slightest bit of faith in his nonsense. Meanwhile the man's shameless words had apparently angered Maiden Luo so much he was smiling, his every word forced through clenched teeth, so forceful it seemed he wanted to bite each word into pieces.
He let out a nasty laugh: "You're lying through your teeth. You were the first to start it weren't you, and yet you're trying to push it on me? Heh, are you that sick of living?"
Bing-ge didn't answer him, instead deepening the smiling expression on his face, narrowed eyes brimming with ice-cold killing intent.
Seeing the two ready to start fighting again, Shen Qingqiu hurriedly made a gesture for them to stop, yelling loudly: "That's enough! No more provoking each other! Stop it this instant!"
""But Shizun—""
"Eat, your, dinner!"
Shen Qingqiu forcefully broke off both men's protests. He quickly swept his gaze over the food on the table, seeming to come to some sort of decision, then picked up the serving chopsticks and divided each dish in equal portions between the three of them—
"Now everyone has their share, we're each eating our own."
The implication here was, I've got food already, so what are you still kicking up a fuss for, just sit down and eat!
Luo Binghe was unwilling to resign, when he saw the original one's eyes suddenly light up, energetically sticking onto Shen Qingqiu and refusing to move away; the more he watched, the more angry he became. But Shizun had already forbidden them from quarreling, and he didn't want Shizun to be disappointed in him, so there was nothing for him to do but swallow that flaming ball of anger, hatefully shoving food in his mouth as he guardedly watched Bing-ge's every movement.
Bing-ge flashed his canines, smiling sweetly: "Shizun, you're really a good person."
Shen Qingqiu felt a cold shudder run through his heart at this sudden sweet smile, as if he'd been faced with some sort of great scourge.
You couldn't blame him for being on edge. Remember that in the original work, the more tender and soft Luo Binghe's smile was, the more savage the tortures that person would face.
He wondered in alarm if he'd offended Bing-ge somehow, because why else would the man be looking at him like this?
But he couldn't think of any answers at the moment, so he simply stopped thinking about it, deciding he might as well focus on resolving the current trouble before him. He unhurriedly opened his mouth: "I'm passable I suppose...as long as you two are happy it's fine."
He gave his own answer a satisfied ten points, for not offending anyone. He seriously felt like this praise was full of pitfalls, demanding deliberation before he could give a reply; otherwise he might accidentally give off the impression he was favoring Bing-ge, and then Maiden Luo really would go berserk.
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