Touken Ranbu Novel Anthology

[rikoren]

The Toushirou Family
by Nana Mizusawa

"So what is this big talk we're having today?"
Akita Toushirou, sitting in a perfect seiza position, tilted his head slightly as he asked.
Seven others gathered here from Midare Toushirou's urgent summons were Namazuo Toushirou, Honebami Toushirou, Hirano Toushirou, Atsushi Toushirou, Maeda Toushirou, Yagen Toushirou, and Hakata Toushirou.
That made it nine total Toushirous in this meeting.
"Hey guys, with nine Toushirous here, have you heard how it's hard for people to remember which is which?"
The first to react to Midare Toushirou's words was Yagen Toushirou.
"Seriously!? Are people really saying that?"
"It's true~ Plus we've got a pair with the same face, too~ So you know, I've been thinking. We can solve the problem if we all get cute nicknames that're easy to remember. Right? What do you think?"

"Well, he's got a point. Nine people's a lot."
Atsu Toushirou nodded in agreement as he spoke.
"Right? So that's why, don't you think we've got a duty to all add 'chan' to our names?
Nacchan, Hocchan, Macchan, Acchan, Hiichan, Acchan, Ranchan, Yacchan, and Hacchan - doesn't that sound cute?"
"...Wait a minute! You said Acchan twice!"
"Eh, you're kidding, right? ...Ah! Aki-chan and Atsushi-chan, huh..."
"No way, rejected!"
Midare Toushirou pouted at Atsushi Toushirou's easy dismissal of his idea.
"But the thought process works, right? How about shortening our names?"
At Namazuo Toushirou's helpful words, Midare Toushirou's expression lit up once more.
"Thank you, Nama-chan! Alright, umm...how about--Namarou, Honerou, Hirarou, Atsurou, Maerou, Akirou, Midarerou, Yarou, and Hakarou?"
"Hmmm...sorry for being first to speak up, but it's not that good."
"I'm against it too..."
Honebami spoke up, looking displeased. Thinking over it a little more, Midare Toushirou tried another proposal.
"Well the 'chan' idea works better anyway, don't you think? It's cute! So how about Nama-chan, Hone-chan, Hira-chan, Atsu-chan, Mae-chan, Aki-chan, Midare-chan, Yaku-chan, and Haka-chan?"
"I don't see any problem with that."
"Same here."
Hirano Toushirou and Maeda Toushirou mirrored each other's agreement.
However, Namazuou Toushirou and Honebami Toushirou repeated their collected rejection from before.
Midare Toushirou pouted at that.
"Geez! You guys' names are way too weird~ A catfish tail and a bone-eater--what kind of names are those~? Then again, compared to Heshikiri, Nikkari, or Yamanbagiri...I guess they might be pretty normal."
"I just wanna say, I'm against it too! Why do I have to be Yaku-chan! You think I've got a drug dependence or something!?" [note: he got called 薬ちゃん, which is literally medicine-chan]
"Oh, come on~! Fine, I get it! Then how about we just go with numbers?"
"Sounds good t' me. With all us brothers, numbers make sense. A lively brainstormin' session's important in both battle an' business."
Midare Toushirou's desperate words got Hakata Toushirou's loud approval, but the other seven poured out a grand chorus of rejections.
"Tch. You didn't have to gang up on it like that~ Fine then, we'll just stick with full names. Okay? So with that, we're breaking up for today. Discussion over!"
So saying, with a twirl of his skirt, Midare Toushirou left the room.
The remaining eight Toushirous looked around at each other resignedly.
Just like this, the Toushirou family regularly had their spirits disturbed by Midare Toushirou.

End